Sunday was Grandparents Day! In honor of and to better support the grandparents that give us so much, I want to share two thoughts about grandparents and technology.
Thought #1
Technology allows our kids and their grandparents to connect in ways we never could have imagined when we were kids. Its truly amazing.
Thought #2
When it comes to our parenting plans, the intersection of grandparents and technology gets complicated really fast!
Tech facilitates closeness
For many families, video calls help extended families maintain close bonds despite geographic distance. This is truly one of the best things about technology and parenting, IMO. During the pandemic my mother-in-law would literally watch our kids through face-time. It was a lifeline. Grammie, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU!
We limit screen time for our kids but video calls with family do not get counted against the limit. We want them to feel free to reach out to family members. That’s a bonus, frankly, for everyone involved.
Tech complicates authority
Technology and grandparents can get complicated when we ask/expect grandparents to uphold our digital parenting rules.
Issue #1: Grandparents might be less tech savvy. You can picture it, or maybe you’ve lived it: you have your home tv set up just so— a supervised YouTube account with advance disabled, the content set to 13+ and search disabled. Then you get to grandma’s house and its got regular adult YouTube. Uh-oh.
Issue #2: Grandparents are not always an ideal police force. Let’s be honest, grandparents want to enjoy their grandkids and sometimes that means not wanting to say no or having to disappoint. And/or sometime grandparents get tired and need a break when they watch your kids.
But, having different rules or different enforcement of the rules in different places or around different grown ups can be confusing for kids. In some cases it might even feel like it undermines your parenting, however, unintentional.
So what’s a digital parent to do?
My advice is to embrace technology but be honest about the limitations—by that I mean both the limitations of technology and the humans involved (yourself included).
Use technology to help. I see no issue with using technology to help—whether its for me to get dinner cooked or meet a work deadline without 7,000 interruptions or grandma who is tired from 17 consecutive games of UNO and 35 requests for more snacks and who still has an hour left on the clock before she gets back up. It happens. Technology— and screens specifically— can help navigate those situations.
Set grandparents up for success. If you want grandparents to uphold certain values or rules, you have to set them up for success. Start by explaining your digital parenting plan. Share what you’re trying to accomplish. Ideally you do that before you’re about to leave the kids and grand parents alone with each other. Then, ask them what they are able or willing to do. If changes to settings are required on their TV or their phones, offer to set it up for them.
In short, show your appreciate for grandparents by talking about technology early and making a plan together!
Paid subscribers read on for a few specific problems I definitely you may have encountered and some solutions!
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