The Snapchat Fentanyl Lawsuit & What Parents Can Do
Last week a judge in California ruled that Snapchat will go to trial for a lawsuit from families whose children allegedly used the app to purchase fentanyl.
Kids buying drugs from strangers on the internet is a real, terrifying thing that happens.
Regardless of the outcome of the lawsuit, parents need to think about a few things.
Tech needs to do better. While I can appreciate the complexity of the situation— how would a platform monitor every conversation and piece of content for safety without violating free speech and going broke—companies don’t get to be blameless because the problem is hard.
Snapchat is not the only place this is happening. Its easy to vilify them in this situation but every company that provides a way for people to communicate every place where private conversations happen present a risk. I’m looking at you What’s App— where I have gotten creepy stranger outreach myself.
While we wait for the outcome of the trial and hope for platform/industry improvements, we, as parents, need to do our part too. We can’t just sit and wait for others. These are our kids!
Not to get all 80’s egg in a frying pan on you, but have you talked to your kids about drugs?
Have you talked to them about strangers on the internet and on social media?
My $0.02
Talk to your kids about drugs. There are age appropriate ways to do this. BabyCenter has a great article about talking to little kids (ages 6-9). The Harvard Health Blog has a good one for teens. My 10 y/o just completed the D.A.R.E. program at school and while I’m quite grateful this program still exists and that the schools are doing their part— we parents still need to do ours.
Talk to your kids about strangers and all that gnarly stuff none of us wants to think about. There is no D.A.R.E. program about digital safety or strangers so we parents really need to address:
That there are bad people/predators out there in the world, including online
That there are people who will try to trick you into doing things you shouldn’t be doing and then threaten to expose you. Don’t ever send pictures of yourself to a stranger!
And yes parents of teens you need to specifically address nudes.
That there are people who will pretend to be kids themselves to trick you. Don’t share personal information with someone you don’t know in real life. This includes details about where you live, financial information, your age, your family.
That there are people are just straight up doing illegal things like selling drugs. Drugs are illegal and dangerous. There have been many stories in the media about young people who have died from drugs bought over the internet including those related to this lawsuit. Its ok to explain that stories like these are informing your worry.
Talk to your kids about technology
Talk to them about the tech they are using: the devices and the appsw. Don’t just give permission and look away. Check in see how their using them. Ask curious question
Understand the tech they are using. Take the time to learn the device or the app or whatever it is. Seek out the resources to learn what you don’t understand.
Use the parental controls. They are there for a reason. They aren’t perfect and they don’t solve it all but they can certainly help!
Remind your kids how much you love them
Our job as parents is to love and support our kids even when they mess up, especially when they mess up. Kids need to hear this message over and over.
It’s ok to make mistakes. You and them. You aren’t going to get parenting right every time. And your kids— well they are going to face situations they aren’t ready for. They are going to make mistakes. They are going to face danger. When this happens, they need to REALLY know that you will help them. Their safety is the most important thing—even if they screwed up.
Make a distinction between your concern about the world and your trust of them as individuals. Kids will take messages about restriction as votes of non-confidence. If this is not the case, explain the difference.
What I’m not recommending
Absent from my list of what parents should do is a recommendation that they ban technology or social media. I don’t think you should do that. I don’t think its realistic. I think there are are benefits to technology. Also kids that are locked down are going to find a way to sneak.
Introduce and management tech thoughtfully and carefully. There is not need to rush into any of it. When introducing something new, go slow, let them practice with you and work on trust, together.
Wrapping up
The threat of drugs and strangers pulling creepy sh*t with young impressionable kids predates social media. Social media just makes it alot easier. Does that let social media off the hook. Definitely not. Are these poor parents to blame for how they parented. I certainly don’t think so.
What I really think— is that concerned parents, myself included, faced with the reality of this lawsuit and worry for our own kids, need to have more difficult conversations with our kids.
Bonus Section - what the kids are saying
I asked my squad of teens 3 questions this week:
Has a stranger every approached you online?
Where?
What did you do when approached?
Paid subscribers read on to hear what I learned and what I think about what I heard.
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