Should I give my kid a smartphone for Middle School?
advice and options to help you decide what to do
There is somewhat of a tradition of gifting a smartphone to kids as they graduate elementary school to prepare them for middle school.
This spring especially I’m hearing more and more parents say they are reconsidering this gift.
Right now, in this moment, we have more information about the effects of screens and scrolling and social media that we ever have. And, there are more non-smartphone options than ever before.
This abundance doesn’t necessarily make things easy for parents but I’m hoping this post does!
If you find yourself on the precipice of the smartphone decision, this post is for you. If you’re peering around the corner knowing the smartphone decision is in your future, this post is for you. And, if you’ve already given a smartphone and want to “tighten up things up,” this post is for you, too.
Get started
Define what’s important to you.
Are you are adamant that any device you are considering have zero internet access? There are options that start totally locked down but can open up to limited apps over time. Or, not.
Do you want the ability to monitor your kids texts? There are many options that offer this extra level of control.
What about controlling group texts? There are fewer options here.
Be realistic.
Do you have the time and patience for parental controls? If your answer is no, you should probably look into flipphones and dumbphones. Just now that anything else requires some active management from here on out.
Review your options
This week I ran a workshop to help parents understand the better options currently available and decide what to do. We looked at 15 different devices—everything from flipphones to smartwatches to dumbphones to kidphones* to smartphones. The results are organized into 8 different scenarios. We were able to go much deeper in our workshop discussing the specific features that qualify each device for these scenarios. This post is already long enough so here is a summary of my findings in list form.
*I define kidphones as phones designed for kids that have the most parental controls available (ie text monitoring capabilities).
A device for me and my kid to communicate and nothing more
A device that allows my kid to communicate with friends and nothing more
FLIPPHONE (I consider a T9 enough of a deterrent to texting)
WISEPHONE (currently in pre-order use code DIGITALMOM for $75 off)
GABB WATCH
A device that allows my kid to communicate with friends and over time have limited access to apps, and games
A device that allows my kid to communicate with friends and over time have access to internet, apps and games (ie full smartphone capabilities)
ANY SMARTPHONE (This option requires the most active management)
APPLEWATCH (Its a pain but its not impossible to get to the internet)
A device with text monitoring
BARKPHONE
PINWHEEL PHONE
TROOMI PHONE
GABB PHONE
TROOMI WATCH (Although you can’t text friends who don’t also have this watch)
TIK TALK WATCH (Although you can’t text friends who don’t also have this watch)
A device that can block group chats
BARK, GABB AND TROOMI BASIC PHONE PLANS + PINWHEEL allow you to manage group texting
A device that will pass the cool test
CURRENT SMARTPHONES in general
APPLE PRODUCTS in general
THE WISE PHONE
THE LIGHT PHONE
Risk
Please understand that trying to lockdown a smartphone is by far the riskiest and most complicated option you can choose. Apple products even more so than Android and I would include Applewatch here as well. If you are truly up for actively managing and monitoring in this way, go for it. Just know this is scenario most likely to result in your kid finding a sneaky hack.
Some final advice
You CAN change your mind. Make the best decision you can based on the information available including your knowledge of your kid and your capacity to manage this piece of technology. This doesn’t have to be the forever solution if it doesn’t work your family. And, you don’t have to do for this kid what you may have done for an older one. Times have changed. We have more information and better options, now. Also, different kid.
Do your research. This is a big decision. Make sure you feel comfortable before you click buy.
To inquire about my SmartPhone Alternatives workshop go here. Paying subscribers can see my full research through the link at the end of this article.
Further Reading
How to lock down an iPhone post
How to lock down Android (including Chrome and YouTube) post
Access to my full smartphone alternatives research (paid subscribers only):
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